i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
