A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
