in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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