i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
