even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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