i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
