I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
