Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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