HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
