I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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