He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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