please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
