? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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