You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
