WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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