Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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