Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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