were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
