The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
