I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
