so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
