I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
