yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
