i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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