i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
