things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
