Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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