his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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