I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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