I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
