Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
