Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
