Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
