Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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