I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
