So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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