you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
