Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
