they need to just BURY HIM!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
