i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
