We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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