i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
