I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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