Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
