Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
