Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
