I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
