hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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