god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
