i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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