I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Plan B is the new Plan A
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
